For a variety of reasons, including psychological issues, physical causes, or a combination of both, most men occasionally fail to get an erection despite feeling sexually aroused in other ways. Some men can only obtain an erection while masturbating or having oral intercourse; they cannot get one when trying to have sexual intercourse. Others can get an erection with one woman, and not with another. If you start to suspect that you are having trouble achieving or sustaining an erection, consult the questionnaire above.
SEXUAL DIFFICULTIES TREATMENT
If both spouses participate in counseling sessions, treatment for any sexual difficulties is more likely to be successful. A counseling session often begins with a conversation about the nature of the problem with the counsellor. This gives a couple, perhaps for the first time, the opportunity to openly discuss their sexual desires, which is frequently very helpful in resolving conflicts and easing anxieties. Later, the counselor could recommend methods for overcoming particular challenges, such as the squeeze technique if early ejaculation is a difficulty. Or, he or she might offer more broad tips on sexual conduct. If necessary, the therapist will also walk you through an extended therapy regimen that you can complete at home, such as the sensitive focus approach. Couples that are sufficiently able to overcome their embarrassment to seek sex counseling have a high success rate. Therefore, it is wise to seek your doctor’s guidance even if you believe your problem is insoluble.
REDUCING SEXUAL AXIETY
Many sexual difficulties are caused by worry in one or both partners, and the majority of sex counseling involves suggestions for lowering this anxiety as a foundation for enhancing sexual pleasure. The next approach, referred to as “senate focus,” is frequently effective in enhancing sexual responsiveness without inducing performance anxiety and could assist you in overcoming inhibitions and tensions that can harm sexual relationships. The first step is typically an agreement from both partners to avoid sexual activity for, say, 3 weeks.
A sensitive focus
Plan at least 3 evenings (or a time during the day) per week when you can spend at least 2 hours alone with your partner without worrying about interruptions. Try to create a pleasant atmosphere for the two of you, perhaps by playing some of your favorite music. You and your partner must honor your decision to avoid full sexual contact while you are doing this therapy.
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- Stage 1 – On this first evening, each partner should alternately give the other a gentle massage and cuddle for around 20 minutes. You should both be completely naked for this; however, you are free to use body oil or lotion if you want. All parts of the body should be gently explored during the massage, with the exception of the genital, breast, and anal regions. The person receiving the caresses should focus on enjoying the act of being touched, and the person providing them should focus on enjoying physical contact with the recipient. After any awkwardness has passed and you are enjoying the experience (this may require several sessions), move on to stage 2.
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- Stage 2 – Stage 2 is identical to stage 1, except this time, genital, breast areas and anal parts may be massaged. But keep in mind to incorporate other body parts into your caresses so that direct sexual pleasure can be experienced with other physical sensations.
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- Stage 3 – Most couples discover that they are ready to resume sexual activity as soon as they reach stage 2, and in most cases, they discover that they are more at ease and better able to enjoy a full range of physical and emotional sexual feelings.
